Revillaging - Building Your Village From Scratch
Being a human in 2023 can be weird at times, and also super beautiful. Modern world mothering does not fall short of its drastic pros and cons. It can be such a deep experience of expansion (literally, and figuratively!), loving on a level you’ve never experienced, and the cuddliest of cuddles. On the other hand, we often find ourselves isolated and alone, especially in the first weeks postpartum when we need help the most. It’s important to remember that our biological design is wired for us to be around humans, pulling together to live, work and raise babies. Without a village in today's demanding world we will burn out and feel unsatisfied and isolated. We have fallen far from having our village around us, but we can find solutions to re-village our world. Building your village may significantly improve your experience in motherhood and life. You are worthy of a village.
What is my village anyways?
Your village is a group of beautiful people who you can rely on when times get tough, share your truest self with (safely!), laugh with, and just generally do life together. These people may be like minded folks with similar interests and passions as you, or you may have similar life circumstances. Ideally, you inspire each other to grow and live your best lives. With your village intact, you can breathe and know that at the end of the day you are supported and not alone.
Where can I find this magical village?
For some, family is the start of their village. But we recognize that for various reasons, this may not work for you. Honestly, your village may be made up of many different people from friends to teachers to neighbors. Heck, add in your fav barista who listens to you vent after being up with your baby all night! Sometimes, we just have to look around and notice the people who are present in our lives. That’s your village! Nurture these relationships, these are people you can rely on that make life feel better and will help you in a time of need.
What if I don’t have anyone?
Many mommas find themselves in a position where they don’t really have any connections around them to build a village from. However, there’s likely many other people equally hungry for connection that can be a starting point. Sometimes we even outgrow our village and relationships may become toxic. At that point, it's worth rebuilding your village so you feel inspired, not drained. Try the following to find your people.
Facebook groups - join a Facebook group of moms in your area and ask to have a playdate at a park or library. For example, if you live in North Austin, you can search “North Austin Moms” and join the groups that come up!
Partners in Parenting - This Austin based organization meets weekly so new parents can connect with one another while being guided by a trained facilitator. PIP alumni report feeling like they have a village of people to turn to and experience a more seamless transition into parenting.
Public settings - Next time you’re at the park or library and your little one makes a friend, take that moment to get to know their new bestie’s caregiver. You may all get along great and become a part of each other’s village!
Try to remember to…
Keep an open heart - many of us have been taught that doing things alone means you're stronger, better, and worthy. This may stop us from asking for help, or receiving it to its fullest once it’s here. Try to breathe and soften your heart, and remember that powering through struggles alone doesn’t define your worth. Take a gentle glance at your beliefs around being helped.
Show gratitude - In our fast paced world, we often forget to slow down and really feel things. Next time you receive support from your village, take a moment to breathe and feel gratitude for how supported you are.
Pay it back - Sometimes we may find ourselves in a position where we’re receiving support for an extended period of time, such as postpartum. Once you come out of that period, offer support back to your village, even if it’s something small like bringing them their favorite drink. It’s a beautiful full circle moment!
Face your fears - We understand that it can be scary to go out and meet new people, especially after having a baby when you’re not so sure you even know yourself. Take it slow and love yourself through this process. It’s not an easy one, but we promise it's worthwhile.
Re-villaging is world changing. If you're feeling inspired, we want to leave you with this worksheet that guides you through identifying your village. If there’s several empty spots, repeating names, or people who you’ve outgrown, we encourage you to go on your re-villaging journey. Bon Voyage Momma, you’ve got this.
Occupational therapy for mothers can help support the mental and physical health of mothers, babies, and their families. If you think you might benefit from seeing an occupational therapist (OT) through your transition to motherhood, schedule a free consultation to see how we can help.
Matrescence Occupational Therapy is a concierge occupational therapy practice that specializes in providing individualized support during preconception, postpartum, and beyond. We are happy to serve families in Austin, Texas and surrounding communities.